Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning (Queer), Intersexual, Asexual (Ally). Pansexual, as well. More words will follow, and I’m ready to learn them all. Each letter, each word, is important, deserving respect, opening our minds to the full spectrum of sex and sexuality.
Yet, it’s not the “full” spectrum. When people talk about sexuality, Straight seems to have its own separate “spectrum” – more accurately, its own separate throne. There are The Heterosexuals and there are The Others.
My perspective is different. I was raised by a straight mother and father (born in 1922 and 1917) who were absolutely comfortable with gay men and lesbian women. My earliest memories include my parents’ closest friends, couples comprised of a woman and a man, a woman and a woman, a man and a man. This was a part of my life from the cradle. This was, is, and always will be my Spectrum of Normal.
I was eight years old when I learned there were separate words for “straight”, “gay” and “lesbian” couples. I also learned that none of the gay and lesbian couples I knew were married, because they weren’t allowed. I knew the ban on same-sex marriage was just plain wrong, but my reaction to the separate words was mixed. I was comfortable with the words as descriptive language, but extremely uncomfortable with the words as a divisive force. Couples were couples, love was love, people were people. I didn’t have a gay/straight litmus test, and I still don’t.
I hope to see the day when there’s just one sexual spectrum, which will include “S” for “Straight”. This new spectrum will give each letter and each word equal emphasis, equal respect, equal everything. This will be a spectrum of acceptance of the many shades of normal. I don’t categorize Straight Sexuality as separate from Other Sexuality. All of us are individuals on the Spectrum of Normal.
Amy Kaufman Burk is an author and blogger. Her first novel, Hollywood High: Achieve The Honorable, was written in reaction to seeing gay students bullied in high school, and follows one family’s journey after their daughter comes out. Her second novel, Tightwire, includes a strong friendship between two men, one gay and one straight — as well as a same-sex couple (two women), raising a daughter and a son, who become role model parents to the main character. Amy’s blog has several posts in strong support of LGBTQ+. Check out Amy’s Author Page on Amazon.